aninabanina

I'm really dreading the weigh-in on Wednesday. I haven't been going over my calorie limits for the day, but I don't think the amount "lose it" says I need to eat to lose 1.5 pounds a week is correct, since I'm not really losing anything. I'm still friggin' stuck around 229-230. I got down to 228.6, but I'm probably getting my period as well. Blah.

I'm swimming 4-5 times a week, and super loving it, and I think I need to step it up a bit. And I think I need to lower the calories from 1740 to around 1600. Boooo.

Oh man, I just had one of the most amazing meals of the last few months:

Drink: Disorano Amaretto
Antipasto: bread, gorgonzola, olives, salami, tuna, eggplant
Pizza: "Diavolo" - salami, red onion, mozzarella
Dessert: TIRAMISU

So worth it - made me go over by 154 calories for the day but whatevs - a friend's 30th birthday!

And instead of eating too fast and too much, I got to totally enjoy it and really luxuriate in all the flavours. YUM.

Thought I'd start posting what I eat in a day. I have this all on my lose it application for my iphone, but thought I'd put it here, maybe give people some good ideas!

Breakfast: 2 cups of All-Bran, 1 cup of skim milk (320 calories)

Lunch: 2 pieces of multigrain bread, 2 fried eggs (in very little oil), 4 slices of chicken bacon, 2 tbsp ketchup (509 calories)

Snack 1: 3 extra thin Kavli crackers and 1.25 oz cheddar cheese

Snack 2: apple

Dinner: 6 oz. chicken breast with lemon and paprika, 2 cups romaine lettuce, 1 tbsp lite caesar dressing, 4 large pieces of roasted potato with onions in balsamic vinegar (574 calories)

So far, at 1694 calories. I did 30 minutes of swimming, so according to lose it, I can still eat 354 calories to be in my net 1740 calories to lose 1.5 pounds per week. I've been losing less than that, but I haven't felt deprived, cranky (well, not to do with food, anyway, haha), or like I have foods that are 'forbidden'.

Will, my husband is making oatmeal cookies, some with chocolate (!) and I'll be eating one, that's for sure! It's nice being in a place where I can eat just one of something, and really be "there" and eat it. Hell, I have some leftover Haagen-Dasz vanilla bean ice cream still in the freezer from about two weeks ago. And I don't feel any compulsion to eat it. This is very exciting news in the world of Tracey. :)

My husband and I have started swimming and this week we began practicing on our own and are LOVING IT. i find it so relaxing but energizing, and I sleep like the dead on the day that I swim. I have made an interesting observation as well - we keep having sex on the days that we swim. Maybe it's the exercise? The fun? How relaxing it is? Either way, I'm totally down with this new situation. :D

I love that every day is a new chance.

Third day of working out. I'm very proud. :)

20 minutes on the elliptical! And it's just up from here. By this time next week it'll be up to 30 min.


Eeeeeeee!

Oh man, today the Super Mario wii game comes out, yay! BUT. Cannot buy it yet, not until my thesis proposal is done, which I hope will be done in full first draft by the 24th, and the 27th at the latest. Also, the point of getting it is to celebrate my one year of no sugar, which isn't until December 9th. Sigh.

I'm doing some food thinking.  I haven't had sugar in almost a year, and by that I mean I haven't had candy, chocolate, ice cream, etc etc that are sweetened with anything but maltitol or sorbitol since December 9th 2008.  I've had bits of sugar here and there, since lots of bread and such has a bit of sugar in it.  What that means is I've been having a lot of "no sugar added" stuff, the kind of things diabetics eat.  And I've been struggling with it, not so much not eating sugar, but the yuckiness of the chemicals that mimic sugar.

So I've been thinking about simply sticking with my 1600 calorie limit for each day, and if some of that, sometimes involves high quality, unprocessed, but sweet food, then that simply becomes something I account for.

The other thought I have is that I have defined myself as an addict, and what does this line of thinking mean?  Is this a backslide of thought that I'm trying to rationalize?  Of course, the things that I would have used to binge on are still not possible to eat, since they're full of preservatives and things like palm oil.  It's still no McCain's Deep and Delicious, or Reese's peanut butter cups, but maybe home-made chocolate cake for my birthday and the fancy cookies from the local bakery at a potluck.

Part of me just wants to be "normal" whatever that is, while knowing I used to be able to eat an entire cake in one night.  I guess I'm not sure yet if I can trust myself, but man, do I want to be able to trust myself.